If you are a Grey’s Anatomy fan, you know what it means to be someone’s “person”. Hat tip to Shonda Rhimes for introducing the world to the relationship between Drs. Meredith Grey and Cristina Yang and the idea of what it means to be so real and so transparent with a female friend that sometimes it takes your breath away. That’s the kind of relationships that the Too Thrifty Chicks think we have and we’ve noticed that a lot of the women that we know and call friends have similar kinds of relationships too.
We like to call these relationships “personships” because there really is just no other way to describe them. We read somewhere that it’s National Girlfriend Month so in honor of that and the anniversary of our becoming friends and subsequently starting this blog, we’re sharing our story of personship, and that of a few of our friends. We live in an age where reality television shows abound with fake friendships that form and dissolve from episode to episode, and lest you be deceived, we want to introduce you to real women and real personships including our own.
Person: (n.) 1. Someone who is divinely assigned to walk through the journey of your life for a season or a lifetime. 2. Someone who will chase you down at a bus stop to be your friend. 3. Someone with whom you can share the most intimate details of your life and not be judged. 4. She is theThelma to your Louise. 5. She is the other pea in your pod. 6. She is the person that would help you hide the body if you committed a murder.
Being someone’s person is more than being their best friend. We don’t discount the value of best friends. We each have or had someone in our lives we consider to be our best friend. For both of us that person is or was a childhood friend who knows what we look like either before puberty or shortly there after. They know about every adolescent crush, the first time either of us were kissed and the first time we had our heart broken. But our best friends aren’t our person and our person is not our best friend. Get it?
Personships are sometimes more rewarding than your romantic relationships and close friendships. Sometimes you just want to hang out with your person more than you want to hang out with your boo, or that really good friend that wants to spend a lot of time with you or plan a trip with you. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your boo, or your good friend, but it might, however, mean that you don’t feel like you can always be your whole self with that person and that can make things awkward in ways that they are not with your person.
Being someone’s person is just different. Your person is someone you’ve met in the fullness of your adulthood who just gets everything about you. From your weird hangups about, well, everything to the things that really burn your biscuits, this person gets it and doesn’t think any less of you. Your person is someone who can be brutally honest with you, but because they love you dearly, it doesn’t sting as much as if that same honesty came from a best friend, a sibling or a parent. If there is someone like this in your life, this is your person. She’s not your bestie, but you trust her with your life. At least that’s how we see it.
When Reese walked up to me last year at an event and told me she had a dream that she was planning my wedding, though she’d never actually met me, I didn’t think anything of it. Never mind the fact that I wasn’t dating anyone and that if I got married, I’d probably elope. I just asked her to tell me what the dream was about. After that, the universe kept putting us together. Whether it was making signs for a upcoming race, traveling with friends to Atlanta for a running event and Reese coming to visit my church because she saw a picture of me in jeans and a t-shirt, the universe kept conspiring to put us together.
We officially knew that our personship and the Too Thrifty Chicks was born during a five-hour thrifting adventure that culminated in our shared love of Indian food. The sign that let us know we’d found a kindred spirit? We had been hanging out for hours and we weren’t tired of each other yet. That’s pretty big for a bonafide introvert (Ricks) and the most introverted extrovert/extroverted introvert (Reese). Our personship has only blossomed in the year that we’ve been roommates sharing our hopes, dreams, fears, tears and most dramatic moments. We have inside jokes. We finish each others sentences. We see eye-to-eye about a lot of things, but we do disagree from time to time. Most importantly, we want the very best for each other. Period.
Finding your person is almost as important as finding the love of your life. Why? There is a good chance that your relationship with your person will last a lot longer. Think about it. You know of plenty of friendships and personships that have outlasted romantic relationships and marriages. If you haven’t found your person, don’t despair. We believe that the universe will send your person when you need her most. In fact, she might already be in your inner circle. We have been pleasantly surprised to find that we’re connected to amazing women who have found the Cristina Yang to their Meredith Grey, the Gayle King to their Oprah Winfrey and we’ll introduce you to them throughout the month.
Until next time get your person or a bunch your girlfriends together and celebrate. Happy National Girlfriend Month!